I love fat. I love the crinkly silk taste of it sliced from the side of a nice rib-eye, or the warm, oiliness coating my tongue, carried by veggies swimming in butter. But for all the love of fat and protein when I’m stressed all I want is chocolate. Milk chocolate and something full of processed flour-pasta is the ultimate winner, with Chinese food covered in fried rice the second.
*sigh*
Why can’t that luscious, juicy steak give me the same feeling of comfort and support that a bowl full of pasta does? Is it just a learned behavior? Pasta and rice=safety and comfort while buttery fats=…
Well, I’m not sure what they equal. Maybe that’s the problem. I think of steak and I think of the slice of meat itself, while, when I think of pasta I think of family and laughing around the table slurping up noodles. So when I’m stressed (like now with the health problems and family issues that have come up) all I really want is a piece or three of rich milk chocolate, so much so that I'm turned off by a perfectly cooked steak and only crave noodles.
I have to get past these cravings!!! Life is never going to allow a two or three week space where something stressful isn’t happening just so I can overcome some eating habits but how to beat these cravings that I know are purely psychological, not based on any type of dietary need…
Will power. Disciple. Overcoming weakness. And allowing myself to be human. Its all I can think to do. There are times I wish my goals weren't so hard to achieve, but the lessons are in the journey and the destination is the reward. Must keep walking down this path if I ever hope to see my jawbone again.
By the by, the steak the other day turned out awesome, though a little more rare than hubby likes. It actually worked out good since he’s able to take the leftovers to work where a quick zap in the microwave will get them hot and done enough for his tastes. As for me, I was very unlady like and gorged on greasy, oily, buttery steak. Even kiddo laughed at Momma’s bad manners.
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